2 weeks down, 1 to go in my 21 day fast. I miss coffee, like so much it physical hurts. I am way over the caffeine withdrawals, but its the simple joy I take in my morning coffee, what it symbolizes to me. The comfort it brings, like a warm hug, while I do my bible reading, journaling and praying every day. Somedays I just take it out to my garden and enjoy the peace and tranquility of the garden first thing in the morning. So I guess it is not so much I miss my coffee, I miss the experience and for some reason, the tea just isn’t the same. I think you know its a sacrifice when you have such a tangible thing, like walking by my coffee cups and smelling the beans waiting for me to come back that reminds me that I have been called to pray.
Prayer is such a weird thing. It has been a facet of my spiritual life since I was in grade school but it has changed so much. Even my perspective of prayer has changed. I no longer give God a wish list. I don’t always even commit every action that I do to Him, because I think we all have area’s of our lives that God has called us to and you know what it is you are suppose to be doing. I don’t ask God what to feed my kids, I know what I should feed my kids. I don’t ask God if I should share my faith, I just do, because He has already told me to do that. I equate this to my kids, so often they come to me and ask me to do something or if they can have something, more often then not, I get about 10 variations of the same question from the group. This drives me crazy. Especially because I had clearly stated what needed to be done prior, and asked if they comprehended then. I think so often our prayer life is like this.
For example, God has clearly given me scriptures and promises regarding my kids, my marriage and my future. I have read them, prayed them, journaled them, I know what they are. So when I then ask God what I should do, because I think this situation means that those promises and tasks clearly laid out before me are null and void, I am really not trusting the prophecy, the promise of the future in store for them because of what I can see in front of me. Fear is really a trust issue, and I am still having to surrender these to God daily. I want you all to know, I have not arrived. I may have been saved since I was a child, and never had that rebellious testimony, but Lord knows, I am still very much a work in progress. I stress, fret, worry, fear, analyze, overthink, panic, stew, even lose sleep over things 100% out of my control.
These days most of my prayers are letting God know where I am at, how I am feeling and asking that He heal and fix all the broken things. It is thanking Him for the goodness that He allowed me to see and experience. It honestly, looks a lot like the Psalms. I started my bible reading (cover to cover, every word, every year) in the book of Psalms and I see myself in David’s shoes. Enemies all around me, sometimes we pray scared, sometimes we pray victoriously-prophetically, and other times we just praise God for who He truly is, because He does deserve all our worship. Sometimes I pray traditional prayers, sometimes I use resources like the “Daily Prayer” from Ransomed Heart Ministries or “Prayers that Avail Much“, and sometimes I literally take passages of scripture and pray them. Other times I have no words, at all. My soul just aches and groans, and I pray in the Spirit because I can do nothing more.
I listen to a couple sermons/podcasts every single week. What I love about this is that 90% of the time, someone speaks right into a situation I had been praying about. I get clear direction from these reinforcements. So often I can be reading in my bible and something will jump out to me, 9 times out of 10 that same passage comes out in one of these additional resources and I get my confirmation, I know that God said it to me because it is in the Bible, but I am one of those people that want clarification, like my kids, on the tasks set before me. When you seek first the kingdom, everything else does fall into place. So let us pray:
Our Father, dwelling in the heavenly realms,
may the glory of your name
be the center on which our lives turn.
Manifest your kingdom realm,
and cause your every purpose to be fulfilled on earth,
just as it is fulfilled in heaven.
We acknowledge you as our Provider
of all we need each day.
Forgive us the wrongs we have done as we ourselves
release forgiveness to those who have wronged us.
Rescue us every time we face tribulation
and set us free from evil.
For you are the King who rules
with power and glory forever. Amen. (Matthew 6:9-13 TPT)
And for those wanting some awesome inspiration, this is my weekly playlist.
The Foothills Foursquare Church- Pastor Mark Wilson (my home church)
Living Waters Foursquare Church- Pastor Eric Ratliff (our best friends church)