There are no excuses for anyone. You alone are responsible for you. No one has made you who you are. Paul puts it all in perspective when he said, all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) No one escapes off this planet without missing the mark. I have missed the mark, I have fallen short, and I am most assuredly going to do it again. You can’t work yourself out of the pit of sin, you can’t be a “good enough” person and you most certainly can’t blame your poor behavior on another. It didn’t work for Adam in the garden, and it won’t work for us either.
Nowadays, I can’t scroll through social media feeds without finding someone blaming someone else. Apparently you can and will be condemned for your political views, your parenting views, and/or your social views if they make anyone else feel responsible, guilty or shameful of their own behavior. I think we need quite a few more people taking responsibility and a lot less people passing judgement. I know this probably sounds judgmental, but it isn’t in my heart to condemn anyone. I have come to the place in my life that I do what I do, and I will take ownership of that, I don’t need to justify why I parent a certain way or why I believe the way I do. And on the flip side of that, I don’t care how you do you, either! Just don’t say that you have to do it this way because your aunt told you to, own that thing! For good or for worse, we need to take back ownership over our actions. No man is keeping you down, no government program will bring redemption and no lie you tell yourself will be a good enough excuse for your sin. Stop believing you are a victim, and start speaking life! You are not what had been done to you and you alone are the one that can break the cycle of abuse in your life. If you want to be a victim, you will be. I don’t. I am a conqueror, I am victorious and count all joy the suffering I have endured.
You will never find true joy if you blame others, you will instead spend your life always looking for something wrong and for someone else to pin that wrong on.
I am responsible for me. I have to choose who I will serve, day by day and moment by moment. Will I choose to serve the Lord, even when things don’t go for me the way I think they should? Or will I choose to blame those that hurt me to justify my sinful thoughts and actions? I refuse to allow the wrongs done to me, to become part of me. Paul tells us that: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) I am a new creation, all my past is gone, all the wrongs done to me as well as all my past wrongdoings. I have no reason to hold a grudge, because it is not part of who I am now.
God has given me new things. New family, new dreams, new vision and He has renewed my passion for Him. I don’t have room for the past things anymore. I have to let go of these expectations that people should have not hurt me, in order to move on to the greater purpose God has for my life. I refuse to live in the past, to dwell on the past or to use my past as an excuse for my current behavior. I will not reason, rationalize or justify anyone’s actions against me, instead, they are released by me to God and I pray that He will show them mercy. This is really the act of forgiveness. It is not making excuses for another’s sins, it is simply releasing the pain and hurt they have caused to Jesus, for Him to take care of. And since I need all the forgiveness for me, I can’t worry about the blame game.